Excerpted from Dawn Newspaper, Pakistan !!

Daddy?
Yes, son.
Are we going to have a war with India?
Perhaps. Oh, goody. We will thrash them, right? Like we did in 1857!
It wasn't in 1857, son.
Oh, okay. But whom did we thrash in 1857?
The British, son
And the Hindus too, right?
WellDid Quaid-i-Azam fight in that war along with Muhammad bin Qasim and Imran Khan?
No, son. The Quaid and Imran were born much later and Muhammad bin Qasim died many years before.
Then who ruled Pakistan in those days?
There was no Pakistan in those days, son.
But there was always a Pakistan! It has been there for 5,000 years!
Who have you been talking to, son?
No one. I've just been watching TV.
It figures.
Daddy, why are all these people against us Arabs?
Arabs? But we aren't Arabs, son.
Of course we are because our ancestors were Arabs!
No, son. Our ancestors were of the subcontinental stock.
Sub-what?
Never mind.You seem to like wars, son.
Yes. I like to watch them on TV.
But real wars are fought outside the TV, son.
Really? How is that possible? What sort of a war is that?
Never mind.
Daddy, you look worried.
Of course, I am, you little warmongering punk!
Daddy! Why are you scolding me?
Because TV is talking rot and so are you!
Daddy, are you supporting Hindus?
No!
Daddy, have you become a kafir? Keep quiet! No more TV for you! Go watch a movie on DVD or listen to a CD.
Can't do that.
But we have so many DVDs and CDs, son.
Not any more.
What do you mean?
I burned them all.
What?!
I burned them all.
I heard that! But why?
Because I am a true Muslim who hates America.
But only last week you wanted to go to Disney Land.
That's different.
How come?
Mickey Mouse is Muslim.
No, he isn't.
Is so. He converted when he heard azaan on the moon.
On the moon?
Yes. Because the earth is flat and
What??
The earth is
I heard that!
Daddy, do you want to see my science project, or not?
Gosh, that bomb? But your science teacher will fail you.
No, she wont.
Really?
Yes. I plan to blow her up as well.
God, what is wrong with you? Go call your mother!
She can't come.
Why not?
I've locked her in the kitchen.
But what for?
A woman's place is in the kitchen. I will not let her out until she covers herself up peoperly!
But she's your mother!
She's also a woman!
So?
So she should be hidden.
Hidden from whom?
The whole world and Tony.
Tony?
Yes, Tony.
But Tony's a cat.
Yes. But he's male.
Son, have you gone mad?
No. By the way, I've made sure Kitto starts covering up as well.
Kitto?
Yes, Kittto.
But Kitto's a cat!
Yes. But a female cat.
But she'll suffocate.
Oh, she's already dead.
What?
She's already dead.
I heard that! But how?
I buried her alive.
You what?
Yes. To avenge Tony's honour. But now I will behead Tony.
But why?
To save mom's honour!
Oh, God!
Don't say that. Always say Allah.
What's the difference?
Daddy, do you want to be beheaded too?
No!
Do you want to be stoned to death?
No!
Do you want to be flogged?
No!
Do you want to get your arms chopped off?
No!
Then stop asking silly questions. By the way, I won't call you daddy anymore.
What will you call me then?Whatever that is Arabic for daddy.
I don't know any Arabic, son.
That's because you are a kafir.
Who the heck are you to tell me who I am, you little fascist twit!
What's a fascist?
An irrational, violent, self-righteous mad man!
W... aaaaaaa...
Why are you crying?
You scolded me.
Okay, I'm sorry. You have to be tolerant and rational, son. Now be a good boy and go read a book instead of watching TV.
I have no books.
Of course, you do. I bought you so many books.
I burned them.
What?
I burned them.
But why?
They were all in English.
So?
It's a non-Muslim language!
But we are speaking English, aren't we?
W... aaaaaaa
What now?
Zionists made me forget my Arabic.
But you never knew any Arabic, son.
W... aaaa yes, I did until you and mommy gave me the polio drops aaaaa
Okay, tell me, can you do me a favour?
Sure, dad.
Can you blow up something for me?
Oh, goody! Of course, dad. What should I blow? A CD shop, a hotel, a school...?
No, no, something a lot more sinister.
Mom?
No, no
What then?
The TV set!
What?
Blow the TV set.
I heard that! But why?
Just do it!
I see. Dad?
Yes.You're so unconstitutional!

Satyam - 2009 could be a year that changed it all

SATYAMS episode woke us all up as a rude awakening. Prima facia all point to the degree of corporate governance that exists and one fears that as the 2 law suits filed against (its just a beginning) in the US, will open the Pandora’s box of loopholes in accounting practices and day to day documentation and more. Laws are bound to go stricter and so will in all probability a few more Enron’s surface in the India Incs cupboard. Bad news if that were to be in the year which in all it probability is leading to be the worst of the currents recession. So really bad news for the image and FDI…the foreign media is already speculating that to happen. What is then bound to happen will be some set of governing rules that lead to the ground level documentation rolling up to the books of accounting , maybe a form of SOX in its Indian avatar. Can’t be far from the original format as the clients are mostly US and Europe based and companies will be hard pressed to explain their current governing strutuctures today, for their current clients and more so as they reach out to grab a pie of the existing Satyams clients. Over 185 of the fortune 500 companies.

“Sox”, or the general approach focuses on extensive documentation of all processes and insists on creating standards to calibrate all new process with the core. The general impact in dealing with SOX compliance in the past is, its exposes hidden inefficiencies in the system which are both a compliance and a threat to the profitability. This is bound to put pressure on the corporations to be more process efficient ..

“ Efficiency’ then is money saved / money earned or simply is environmentally green…and that’s where corporate India needs to be heading to. An efficient DNA driven standards and scalable in its design. Connecting all the dots if we were…really efficiency is reached through standard process , automation (remember the IBM ads today) and scientific documentation.

Hope the year proves to be a quantum jump ahead …like all legacies, it will not be easy to dispense away with but a move in the right direction will prevent another 53000 people scared for their jobs, investors not having to lose their shirts and clients not stuck with a bad market and a worst vendor.